ugly people sure do ruin things
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
