i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
