we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
