If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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