i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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