His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
