I wannas sexs uuuuu
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
