It's like God shit irony all over that family
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
