No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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