just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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