Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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