naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
