yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
