No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
