these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
