we have officially lost it.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
