Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
