This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
