Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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