the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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