Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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