i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We are two peas in an std pod
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
