We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
