hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Semen is not good for contacts.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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