remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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