Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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