There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
