What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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