Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
