Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
