New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
The feeling are messing with the penis
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
