Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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