So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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