I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
