Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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