In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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