You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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