Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
