Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
