what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
