if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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