You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize