so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
