Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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