he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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