just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
