Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
