batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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