there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
