you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
This is my gift to your gina
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
