My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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