Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
