i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
