Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
