White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
