What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
