Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
