You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
