dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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